Joined: 02 Jun 12
24 Sep 13 12:59 am
Here is my short evaluation:
1. There are still grammar issues.
You have unnecessary capitalization for keywords, such as "Hair Fall". You are also missing punctuation, such as "... about Smartness.If you really ..."
Your overall English is obviously written not by a native writer, which might make some of your visitors not trust your site (assuming you are targeting English speaking countries).
2. It reads like a medical brochure
From a conversion standpoint, you want to inject more human emotion into the article. What you have now is merely a list of facts, and your visitors can get that from Wikipedia or a similar authority site like WebMD.
Use a different point of view, and offer something of value to your visitors in the form of information they can act upon and can't be found anywhere else (or at least not said in the way you say it).
Hope this helps.
Songwriter. Affiliate marketer. Casual gamer.