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Which Squeeze Page Headline Is Better?

caseys
Posts: 11
Joined: 05 Jun 15
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Which Squeeze Page Headline Is Better?

Hi all, I am doing a squeeze page for the women relationship advice niche and I would appreciate if I can receive some feedback on my headlines.

"DISCOVER The 7 Simple Steps Thousands Of Women Are Using To Get Their Men To Fall Uncontrollably In Love... Even When You Have Been Together For A Long Time..."

Or

"Do You Have The Loving Relationship You Know You Deserve? If Not, Then You Need To Know The 7 Simple Steps Thousands Of Women Are Using To Get Their Men To Fall Hopelessly In Love."

The first headline was written by a male and I was told it was too masculine. The second headline was written from a female's perspective. However my female friends preferred the first headline.

Would appreciate some opinions here, especially the female ones!

Cheers.
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equussue
Posts: 1
Joined: 17 Mar 15
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Hello! I prefer the first one. It feels less cumbersome.
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jcdean
Posts: 532
Joined: 24 Nov 09
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I like number one also.
Hopefully you will get some feedback from a staff member as Mark is a big player in the relationship niche.
  • 0
Respect,
J.C. Dean
http://KillYourDayjob.com
 
Site Admin
cecille.l
Posts: 7016
Joined: 25 Feb 11
Trust:
The first headline says it straight out : what you're offering and what it will do for me. It's catchy too. Unlike the second one which is wordy.

A straightforward, catchy headline always works, regardless of the gender you're targeting. Here's a good guide on how to write catchy headlines :
http://goinswriter.com/catchy-headlines/
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Cecille


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This topic was started on Jul 05, 2015 and has been closed due to inactivity. If you want to discuss this topic further, please create a new forum topic.