15 Sep 13 9:46 am
I have just watched the first 2 minutes of this, and I disagree strongly with the advice you've been given by our staff. The people who responded to you have a very strong knowledge of affiliate marketing, but are not experienced in video salesletter writing, which is why they used 'guesswork' to give that response about the length, and about words like 'weird'.
Video salesletter writing is a skill that not many people understand properly and it seems like you have a lot of promise from what I've seen so far.
The #1 thing that you need to do really early in your video is evoke curiosity, and get people to want to keep watching. You're doing a reasonably good job of that with your 'cat' pattern interrupt (I see it's Jon Benson style).
I'm not convinced the accent is ideal, but it won't be the end of the world. Also using youtube and whatever other compression you used as mentioned by Cecille is not a great idea and will result in decreased conversions. I recommend easyvideoplayer combined with Amazon Cloud Hosting for hosting.
The length of your video, by all means, should be much longer than the 3-5 minutes suggested by my staff member, unless this is a video to go at the top of a written salespage. Assuming this is a standalone video, then most of the top converting products on clickbank (and even other networks) use videosalesletters which average about 40 minutes in length.
It's rare that anything shorter than 25 minutes ends up converting extremely strongly, with the add to cart sweetspot being somewhere between 15 and 25 minutes into the video.
The English grammar needs a little fixing, it's not too bad but does take away from the credibility a little. I'd also split test background music vs no background music.
Overall the script from skimming through it seems to be pretty good, not an A+ vsl, but at least a B or a B+, it feels a little 'cookie cutter' but that is better than not having a plan at all, and does remind me a lot of Jon Benson style which usually does pretty well, assuming you have your targeting right.
Keep up the good work, analyze other top performing vsls from the Clickbank Marketplace on a regular basis and test, test, test till your conversions are going through the roof. This does look very promising. I'd also test against a regular slide deck (ie non animated, or only animate the first 3 minutes of slides, it can get a bit much after a bit of time and sometimes reduces conversions).
I hope this helps and wish you all the best!!