19 Mar 12 12:52 am
Just had a look at your home page, Dave.
One of my areas of expertise is landing page optimization and online marketing's visual aspects. Visually, I see a couple of things which I suspect are not helping you:
1. There seems to be a broken image in your footer images. If you have not already, perhaps you should investigate one of the online services which let you inspect your pages in all popular web browsers - some browsers may successfully display an image while others do not. Also text formatting can look different in different browsers.
2. You present a "vast sea of gray text". Same for your sidebar navigation - it needs shorter phrases. A smaller typeface might help prevent word-wrapping. This is something many visitors dislike and is often grounds for clicking away. Here are some "Rules of thumb" for presenting text":A. Chunk It:
Break text up into small chunks, with graphic or bold headers separating them vertically.
Each paragraph must contain only 1 thought. Online reading is very different from reading a book. Online readers don't really "read" - it's more like they "scan". And it's more difficult (especially for older eyes) to read from a screen - so you have to do all you can to help.
Use bullet points instead of long word series in text, to break up your layout visually and provide a bit of variety and relief.B. Text Layout:
Provide wide margins and lots of white space. Your text lines are much too long for comfortable reading. The ideal is something like 60 - 70 characters long, as I remember. A bit more line height between sentences might help too.C. Beware of Passive Voice:
You write, "For hours of endless fun and memories to last a life time, there’s only one present that tops the rest and goes that extra mile; all hail, The Power Wheels Jeep."
When you "write backwards" like this, it tends to sound passive and gives a higher reading difficult index. Sales persuasion is best done in the active voice. To avoid this kind of problem (which I'm often guilty of doing myself - in fact here I am doing it right now!) always check that you're using the SVO principle - Subject
first, then Verb
, then Object
. And your sentences are over long for easy reading and comprehension.
So, something like: "The Power Wheels Jeep gives endless fun and memories to last a life time. It's the unique gift that tops the rest and goes that extra mile. All hail The Power Wheels Jeep."
This structure also puts the product key words first - always a good idea.D. Unique Value Proposition:
You don't seem to have a UVP. A UVP answers the questions in every prospect's mind, "Why should I buy this thing - and why from you and not your competition?" "Power Wheels Jeep Ride On Toys"
is not a UVP, just the name of a product. As a headline, it doesn't offer benefits or a strong reason to investigate the rest of the page. The rest of your text is better at using exciting benefit words. But you need to beware of just listing product features, without hitting hard on the "what's in it for me" aspect. Just off the top of my head, something like "Power Wheels Ride On Toys - Why you should buy one"
or such might be better. E. A couple of minor things:
I think it's become a "best practice" to make the logo image in the masthead of each page (expecpt the home page) into a link to the home page. It's one of those things that other sites do so often that web users have come to expect it.
Links like "==>> CLICK HERE to Buy Power Wheels Jeep <<==" have an amateurish feel. A link should tell the prospect what to expect on the other end. "Click Here" doesn't do that. "Buy Power Wheels Jeep" does that job, so "Click Here" is just redundant.
Also, you need a mini UVP for every action. You have to tell the prospect why it's to their advantage to click on a link. Every link is a "friction point", associated with a certain amount of anxiety which must be overcome. So something like "Give a gift your youngster will never forget - a Power Wheels Jeep" would be better.
Hope this helps...